Thursday, September 29, 2005

Steve is from the Garden State

I went home for impromptu dental surgery today (i evidently bit off a cap on my tooth after the hammerkatz show on saturday night).

Now i'm from historic Haddonfield, NJ. We're mostly notable for having discovered the first dinosaur bones in the US (the hadrosaurus). We celebrated this by erecting in our town square a giant dinosaur statue. It's truly surreal. You're walking down a very colonial, grover's corners/norman rockwell-esque downtown area and all of a sudden a big fucking dinorsaur is poking its head out from between the shop that makes custom made dog treats (3 dog bakery) and a store where you can weave your own baskets.

The statue is named Haddy. In fact, the 3 grade schools in my town had a competition to name it. Again, my town is Haddonfield, and the name of the dinosaur discovered there was the Hadrosaurus. A kid imagined up the name Haddy, and has his name on a plaque at the base of the staute. The main competition he faced was from another kid whose suggestion was Haddie. My conclusion is that 6 to 11 year olds are idiots.

In any case, my town is 3 miles from Philadelphia, and 2 miles from the current murder capital of the United States: Camden, NJ. My town is about 2 1/2 square miles, and we have 11 churches. We also have 3 graveyards. It was founded by Quakers (pacifists who like oats, and talking loudly in meeting rooms). There is a Quaker graveyard that me and my friends used to enjoy running around at night. It was never scary in the way most graveyards are afterdark. Usually you would spend about 5-10 minutes in one, hear one of your friends break a twig, freak the fuck out, and run like hell. But since Quakers believe that it is a sin to in any way do anything negative towards another human being, it was thereby impossible to be scared. Quaker ghosts couldn't frighten me b/c it would be against their beliefs. Conclusion: Quaker ghosts are pussies.

Alrighty bed for me.

--Steve

ROOMMATE MINUTE by Matt Sadewitz:
I find that the best time to look for loose change in the couch is between 7:30pm and 10:00pm. The reason for this is simple: its primetime on television, which is responsible for the highest volume of traffic on said couch. I have been known to find upwards of 40 cents daily. Don't tell steve. I spent it all already. On baseball cards and edible cellophane.

ROOMMATE REBUTTAL by Steve Stout
Matt is a thief. He beats me up and steals my lunch money. In addition to this he enjoys rubbing toasted cheese on his inner thighs "for health reasons." Do not believe his lies. Aid the revolution.

Wednesday, September 28, 2005

i stalk hammerkatz.

i recently stumbled upon a facebook group entitled "i stalk hammerkatz" - amazing. now that i think about it i remember donald talking about it last year, but it definitely made me laugh. i was tempted to join. .. i resisted. i don't really have anything to post - i just want to put this up so that the world can see the glory of big chicken, m.d. ... that guy has moves.

Sunday, September 25, 2005

THANK YOU NYU/song o' the week

Hey y'all. Thanks for everybody that showed up to the show last night, both the 9 and 11 o'clock crowds were ABSURD. You light up our lives. Next time: free t-shirts. Seriously. Baby. We promise, baby. You're so beautiful.

In the 9 o'clock show, due to neglect on my part, we didn't have our Signature Theme Music. So it's the song of the week this week. It's by the retardedly decent group The Go! Team (who are coming here on tour in a minute). Right click/save as.

The Go! Team - "The Power Is On!"

See you next time, trailmix.

Saturday, September 24, 2005

Show Tonight!

Hey everyone - hope to see you at the show tonight!!

Kimmel - 8th Floor
9pm and 11pm
FREE, as always.

Bring your friends!!
NYU ID or Gov't issued ID at the door.

Friday, September 23, 2005

Even animaniacs has betrayed me...

DAMMMIIITTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!


http://www.petitiononline.com/toon0001/petition.html


-Donald

I decided to start my first real post with something big. So I decided to start on my birthday, which is this weekend.

Usually on my birthday I treat myself to something. You know…a video game, stereo equipment, skateboard stuff…but this year…I really messed.

I was walking down university and thinking “what should I get for myself… I know! A sweater! It’s getting chilly outsi-“

And in mid-sentence I brokedown and cried. I’d realized I was old. Officially. I’m really old. Terribly old.

A fucking sweater, Donald?!? Because it’s “getting chilly”. What a douche!

The kid I baby-sits B-day was this Thursday. He got a rock set, a crystal growing set, a robot arm, the Millennium Falcon, and astronaut ice cream. And there I am, saying to myself “That ice cream looks messy, I hope he eats that in the kitch-WHAT THE HELL AM I SAYING!!!

Don’t get old guys. I’m not celebrating my birthday this year. You guys should do the same.

I’m gonna go watch Animaniacs on DVD and try to regain my youth.

-Donald

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

cheers, first day auditioners/new strokes song

DUDE! The first day of auditions went sensationally. Thanks to all those who came out and rocked ass in cramped lil' Kimmel 908.

If you haven't come out yet, we'll see you this afternoon in Kimmel 908 from 4-6 or tonight at the Palladium Multipurpose Room from 9-12:30. We recommend you show fifteen or so minutes early if you can. You don't have to prepare anything.


The ever-ready Stereogum has a link to the new Strokes song. I dunno how to feel about it. As far as first-Strokes-singles go, it ain't no "12:51."

Also (it's a good day on the 'Gum) he has a cover of the song probably most-done-bits-about by Hammerkatz, Earth Wind and Fire's "September."

See you tonight!

Monday, September 19, 2005

hammerkatz = hammerDANCE








pics from rehearsals: top to bottom: daniel as the african storyteller, helen lauren daniel robbie matt, lauren & robbie as "the spider", robbie lauren matt and helen, helen & matt "rapper mom", robbie "scat dad", matt "depressed kid".... this show is gonna rock. be there!

improv was fun, the new pornographers are funner

Hey y'all. The double top-secret HKATZ Improv show on Friday night was too much fun. Cheers to those of you who made it out. Scenes about Aztecs and conquistadors were done, so you should be sorry you missed it, and be sure you don't the next time one of these happens. Stay tuned.

Have you heard the New Pornographers' new album? Oh man. It's the jump-off, or the jam, or clipped out, depending on which colloquialism you favor. It is so pretty I am convinced Jesus lives inside of it. Or some other steady-rockin' deity.

If you have never heard the Canadian popmonster that is the NPs, here are some tracks to get you started. One is from their previous album "The Electric Version," the other is a nice cover. They're both barn-burners. Rockit.

New Pornographers - "The Laws Have Changed"

New Pornographers - "Your Daddy Don't Know"

See you at auditions tommorrow and Wednesday, and then the show on Saturday.

Friday, September 16, 2005

TONIGHT: Hammerkatz IMPROV right by NYU

TONIGHT, a team of Hammerkatz NYU alumna and current students (Donald, Fran, myself) will be performing longform improv comedy in the style taught by the Upright Citizens Brigade. Behold: HAMMERKATZ IMPROV.

Details:

Red Room (above KGB Bar)
85 E 4th btw 2nd and 3rd
Here's a map!

10:30 PM
Five Bucks

Also performing is Best Boy, featuring Hammerkatz founder AJ Morales. They're an awesome group that performs completely improvised movies.

If you've never seen improv before, or you have nothing to do between the hours of 10:30 and midnight, or this will be BETTER than what you have planned between the hours of 10:30 and midnight ('cause it will), show up.

Also: BYOB! You cannot beat brown bagging a forty and watching comedy. So stop trying.

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

Auditions: NEW TIME ADDED!

In addition to the previously posted audition times (Tues Sept 20th/Weds Sept 21st 4-6 PM, Kimmel 908), we've just added a new time for those of you who couldn't make it to the other two:

WEDNESDAY SEPT 21st
9 PM - 12:30 AM
PALLADIUM COMMON ROOM

The Common Room is accessible the same way as the Palladium Dining Hall. There'll be signs and all kinds of fun stuff.

The streets can't wait, and neither can we.

Tuesday, September 13, 2005

Don't Sleep On Japan

You don't wanna do homework either. Look at these hysterical Japan-related sites instead.

Engrish.com: Just like the US likes to throw Japanese characters on our clothes, posters, and tattoos without really know what they mean, the Japanese like to put bad English on all their products. It's a style thing. This website collects the most hilarious examples of this phenomenon. NUMBER ONE COMPUTER SITE FOR ROCK N' ROLL HOURS!

Japander.com: Lost In Translation is true, in the sense that our washed-up celebrities go over to Japan and do terrible commercials 'cause they think we won't see 'em. We didn't, either, 'till this awesome page. And they aren't even washed up, neither. Witness Brad Pitt playing gee-tar and singing in Japanese. You're welcome.

Lost In Translation is also true, in the sense that Scarlett Johannson is staring vacantly out hotel windows instead of making out with me.

HKATZNYU facebook group is OPEN

The Hammerkatz NYU facebook group is open for bizness. Join! The benefits of membership are as such:

- More exposure to people's pictures, movie, and music preferences for you to judge them by

- More chances of meeting people for awkward, ill-advised, Facebook-inspired hook-ups

- Poking. What is poking? We're not sure either.

Search for "Hammerkatz" under "Search All Fields." Fuckin' join!

parapluie-revel

at rehearsal tonight for the september show (9/24), i was told to post some pics from our trip to syracuse last semester .. but first a little backstory.
so we went to syracuse university and participated in a comedy festival and our host was mr. belding from "saved by the bell" - yeah that's right.. although he was about twice his 'belding' size and still toooootally playing off his one successful gig.
so right before we go on to perform, he's backstage with all the performers giving us a pep talk - and he's like "this night is about you guys, let's go kick some ass" - what follows is an evening of him reminiscing about his days on "bell" and promising the audience that he would "give you all his autograph after the show" (which he did).. we did an awesome set that night but belding was the really funny one - and when i say funny, i mean sad - very, very sad.
so now, the pics!


Top Picture: Matt, Lauren, Belding (as he looks now), Donald, DC, Harry
Middle Picture: Trip up to Syracuse - DC and Donald in the back.. i got shotgun :)
Bottom Picture: Belding's autograph opportunity - a memento we will cherish forever. Does he have a real name?

Sunday, September 11, 2005

DC's song of the week 9/12/05

As promised, the Song Of The Week this week has a Nineties theme. Back to school always has a knack for making a dude feel nostalgic, what with the smell of new school supplies and the thought that you will only do this so many more times before you have to go out into the world and do, y'know, whatever it is people do. Makes you think about when you were eleven and being eleven seemed to be about the hardest thing anybody could ever asked to bear. Silly eleven-year-old you. Go back to watching the Aladdin animated series on Disney Afternoons and leave the worrying to those of us who mistakenly think we're grown-ups.

This song is by Imperial Teen, and is certifiably from The Nineties (96, to be exact.) It's about crushes and sexual confusion. It's also catchy and fun as fuck. I'm down for any song where you can work yourself up to a good shout-y refrain. I imagine it would be nice to roller-skate to.

Imperial Teen - "Butch"

Right click/save as. I'll take it down next week.

Also: Two new leaked Franz Ferdinand tracks on this blog, via the ever-vigilant Aziz. The site is named after a Belle & Sebastian song, so you know we can trust this dude. Lotsa other good mp3s for grabbin'.

See you at Upstein.

Thursday, September 08, 2005

AUDITION DATES!!!!!

Alright kiddies, the moment you've all been wating for. As of right now, this very moment, Hammerkatz NYU is holding Auditions on these dates at these times:

Tuesday, September 20th from 4-6pm in room 908 - Kimmel Center

Wednesday, September 21 from 4-6pm in room 908 - Kimmel Center

Kick it. Kick it real good.

-D

steve likes lost/things

hey all

this is my first post...weeee!

if anyone has $40 layin' about (like you do) i heartily recommend trecking over to best buy and grabbing lost season 1 on DVD...its awesome and has joined my list of satanic things i'm addicted to (included: cigarettes, buffy, quizzo...)

i would like to apologize to all in my history of directing class, my first legit class-i'm-not-dropping this year. It seems i may have disappeared for a half hour and then mumbled something about the medical center...do not ponder what horrible biological fate befell me...merely think i enjoyed my morning running through a idyllic field while cavorting with bunnies and cute children whose birthday is today.

i would also like it noted for the record that inspite of what sadewitz might have some parties believe i have done the dishes in our apartment. they are sparkling and wonderful. do not believe his lies. lies i tell you lies.

early september is awesome, as is the line-up for our next show.

--steve

soooo...

so basically, DC, you're going to buy an ice cream for yourself.. twice?
in other news. i have a confession to make. i am having a love affair. it began a few years ago but recently (this summer) it got pretty intense. now that i am in this relationship, i have a lot less time, and money, but it's going well and i'm entirely faithful. we see each other usually a few times every week. sometimes we see each other too many times in one week and then there's nothing there that interests me.
before you think i'm heartless, i must tell you that my lover is the strand bookstore, which i frequent so often (really only the plays section) that there is often no new merchandise for me to browse through. today was an especially good day though.. i made out very well, scoring two anthologies - Eugene O'Neill and Sam Shepard, and The Rimers of Eldritch by Lanford Wilson.
now if only i had the time to read them.. sigh. off to boring reading (aka academic textbooks)...

HKATZNYU auditions

We'll have official dates/times posted by tonight.

Watch this space for updates.

90's nostalgia

Where's Snick at? Where Stick Stickley at?

The nineties are back, all. Witness:

The Spin Doctors have a new album. Donald and I have speculated that their comeback will constitute the lead singer now having two beards instead of one, and putting all their chips on a single called "Little Miss Is Occasionally Mistaken."

Meanwhile, late-nineties one hit wonders are still making good music. Harvey Danger, of "Flagpole Sitta" fame (you remember it, it was in the Disturbing Behavior commercials) have reunited after five years and have couple of new tracks on their MySpace page (thanks to Zoeller for the tip.) It also features a track each from their two previous albums, both of which were slept-on classics in the opinion of this skinny long-haired person.

In other one-hit-wonders from Seattle news, Nada Surf continues to make really good music while you do whatever it is you do all day. Mp3s here.

At this rate, my hometown heroes Gin Blossoms are mos d. gonna have the Song Of The Week later this week.

Can a Miyam Bialik career resurgence be far behind? Discuss in the comments below.

retraction

I will not in fact be at the Mystery Concert.

A class I thought was this afternoon got rescheduled for tommorrow night.

If it turns out to be Iron and Wine, I'll live.

If it turns out to be anybody else (especially anybody particularly awesome-er), I'll punch myself in my hipster balls.

I will buy ice cream for the next Hammerkat to post on the blog...and go.

Tuesday, September 06, 2005

new Long Winters song!

Stereogum has pointed out that there's a new Long Winters track posted on the Barsuk website.

The Long Winters - Ultimatum (right click/save target as, otherwise the link won't work)

Hell of autumnal! Definite fall music. If you like Nick Drake or have feelings about things there is a good chance you will enjoy this band.


More Long Winters mp3s here

table read, mystery concert, other things

It is everybody's first day of school except me! I don't have class on Tuesdays! What's that? Sit in the park, read a book, and drink a Snapple? Why thank you kindly blogstranger, I think I shall!

Had my first Upstein Chic-Fil-A meal yesterday. It was as wondernous as I'd remembered, except they seem to have gotten rid of the dipping sauces. The Earth kept spinning. Barely.

Speaking of Upstein, HKATZ NYU had a table read of all the sketches to be considered for the September show there yesterday night. Everybody wrote a ridiculous amount; this show is going to be full-to-bursting and sexy as hell. Donald and I are meeting tonight to determine the lineup. The show is tentatively scheduled for September 24th, but keep checking back for up-to-the-minute changes in that date, or at least the font I wrote the date in.


Mystery Concert: answers to my inquiry "Who is playing the Mystery Concert?" were slow in coming. Donald continues to insist it's Iron and Wine, though the folk-er from Miami may have a "special guest," who D and I would both like to believe is Sufjan Stevens, although dude's tour dates seem to insist he'll be in Massachusetts that evening (boo). Either way I'll be there on Thursday night. It's just too free not to go.

Monday, September 05, 2005

Another talking to...

Someone came up to me and said they like the orientation show and asked when my Diet Coke with Lime commercial was gonna start airing. No joke.

I was just floored by the fact that...when you really think about it...that commercial and the slogan "the drink that's a black guy" could be gotten away with.

What I'm saying is....we're pitching to Pepsi tomorrow. That is all.

Sunday, September 04, 2005

hey you!

today i was recognized on the street by someone who saw the orientation show the other day. a girl stopped me and goes "hey are you in the hammernats? you were really good." i politely told her it was katz and said thank you and as i walked away i couldn't help but think how funny our logo would look if we were the hammernats instead of the hammerkatz, because i mean, could a nat really hold a hammer in its mouth? i don't THINK so.

Song of the Week, 9/03/05

Jhyeah. I'm gonna try posting a ton of mp3s on here so's to give you a reason to come back and visit occasionally.

This is one of my favorite songs. I was one heard to remark in an e-mail where I was sending somebody this track, "If this is not the best song ever then I don't wanna hear the best song ever." But I don't wanna hype it up too much or anything. Enjoy. (Right click save as, I'll take the song down by next week so get it now, son).

Beulah - "A Good Man Is Easy To Kill"

who is going to play the Mystery Concert?

Last year I bribed two freshman girls with all the money I had in my wallet for tickets to the Mystery Concert right out in front of Coles. The headlining band was The Shins, flush with post-Garden State popularity, backed up by the Fiery Furnaces. Now I don't wanna get all Ol' Man Rock-n-Roll on you, but dude has been a huge Shins fan from way back. Unfortunately, dude also had a 7-10 pm drawing class on the night of the concert (signing up for that class would prove to be the worst decision ever, in many ways) so I didn't bother getting a ticket 'cause I didn't think I could go. But we got out of drawing early (my friend Caileen and I) and just sorta assumed we could skeez on in to the show.

Nothing at NYU is ever that easy.

Apparently the show was sold out, so I stood in front of Coles going "I'll give you all the money in my wallet for Shins ticket! You know you don't like 'em that much and you know I do!"

It turned out all the money I had in my wallet was eight bucks. This proved to be enough to ply a ticket from two Freshman girls who were admittedly not all that enthusiastic about going. Great, now we can get dinner, they said. Rock feeds the children once again.

The show was boss-some. The Shins covered "Strange Powers" by The Magnetic Fields and it was altogether eight bucks well spent.

So who's playing this year, Student With Your Finger On The Pulse Of Our Fair Institution? It always gets leaked. It was Fountains of Wayne my freshman year (people were audibly disappointed, I like 'em well enough, but either way I didn't go.) Various rumors I've heard include Iron & Wine (this really sounds like more of an opener, dude is awesome but nobody is rocking their dicks off to Iron & Wine, and dick-rocking is exactly what I want out of a headliner) Sufjan Stevens (his new album, while not exactly dick-rocking, is orchestral enough in some places to secure dude headliner status, but he still feels like an opener) and The Arcade Fire, according to NYU alum and altogether hilarious fellow Aziz Ansari. This sounds likely, they're supposed to be amazing live.

But somebody out there knows for sure. So come on then, out with it.

Thursday, September 01, 2005

i heart the strand

so, i'm not gonna lie, i'm one of those girls who kept "journals" (aka diaries) for pretty much her whole life. i valued the privacy that they allowed me and i keep them safely in my basement bookshelf at home in PA, where i suppose now anyone could read them if they really wanted to hear the silly things i wrote in elementary and middle school. (the post-middle school ones are kept safely with me)
i've flitted around with the online journal thing.. because let's be honest, it's much easier to type than it is to hand-write an entry.. and who has time for the decoration that makes a handwritten journal truly unique? for most of this summer though i did the old fashioned journal thing and only now am i coming around to, once again, see the benefits of "blogging" ... (although in cyberland you can't cut out prophetic sayings from magazines and gluestick them next to your entry... you know you do it girls) but i must say that one of the best things about a technologically-run journal is that instead of some clipping from a victoria's secret ad campagin saying "we wholeheartedly support your love affair" or something ridiculous like that (okay that's really in my journal) i can now paste next to my entry... this..

hell yeah.