Thursday, December 29, 2005

pasadena general

I reposted the HKATZNYU video sketch "Pasadena General" here. Watch it and call all your home friends around the computer and go "look how funny these kids from my school are." Or go "Check out these jackasses, what a ton of jackasses. These guys are terrible." (If you are from a place where "terrible" is slang for "awesome" and "jackass" means "Person I must remember to make out with sometime.")

Monday, December 19, 2005

hot shit

HKATZNYU co-director and father of my children Donald Glover is featured in NY Magazine as a HOT PERSON UNDER 26. Or something. Either way, it's awesome.

article title page (with photo)
donald's page


You are taking finals. I am playing beer pong with high school friends in AZ where it's 65 outside. I miss you already.

Here's a deuce of songs with "heart" in the title:

Jose Gonzalez - Hand On Your Heart (live Kylie Minogue cover)
The Knife - Heartbeats

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Camera whores.

My friend took some pics during the show.

I am here to share them with you.

And make dirty comments to your mother. Don't worry, she likes it.

Here's just some guys standing around. They're quite boring, I must say.

Doctor Kalgore is actually a real person. He lives in all our hearts.

I'm vain. So what.

Yoga soothes the soul. Or some shit like that...

This family is happy because they're rich. And they have a lot of things.

My friend only seemed to take pics when I was onstage. That's a shame. I would've liked a pic of dolphin sex.

Alright, now I must return to finishing up my final project.
Actions are a sonuvabitch.

Merry holidays everyone.

Drunk yourself stupid. You've earned it.

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

End of Semester Woes: Busywork Ahoy!

So for this entire semester, I have been interning for school credit at a production company. More specifically, i have been doing clerical work for Scott Rudin Productions (filing, photocopying, running errands, etc). So, in an effort to somehow be sure we're learning something, NYU mandates that we write a paper at the end of the semester detailing what we've learned during our internship. I don't like that. I share with you now my final semester paper in its entirety. I hope i get an A!


Internship: What I Learned; A Compendium for the Curious (As Well As Other Stories, Triumphs, and Feats of Strength)

Scott Rudin's office is not a place for the faint of heart. The moment I arrived at his doorstep as innocent as a newborn babe, I was thrust into the breakneck intensity of the production world. I was imbued with responsibilities not often delegated to one of my tender age. With the strength, stamina, and begrudging patience of Atlas, I shouldered this load with my newly acquired powers. I discovered that, with concentration, I could tap deep into my soul and unlock hidden reserves of titan-like strength and agility I never knew I had. I quickly jumped into action! I stood in the center of the office with my arms outstretched and proclaimed, "I am Matt! No more, no less! Your tedium is over, for I am here to assist you in any way you can imagine! If you need me, I'll be PLAYING SOLITARE IN THE BACK!" My edict was met with stares of bewilderment and ringing phones, but mostly with silence. As I scanned the room for a friendly face of acknowledgement, I saw a look of terror wash over one of the assistants' faces. I quickly turned to see Scott Rudin himself standing in the doorway of his office. He was beet red, and his breath seemed to reverberate off the walls, its force peeling paint along the way. My outburst, it seems, had interrupted his meeting with the future director of Jarhead II: The Vacuum of Space. He charged at me like a mother rhino protecting her children. The top of his head connected with my gut, lifting me off my feet and tossing me 15 feet across the room with a mighty head-butt. Circling me slowly, he baited me to engage him. In a flash of clarity that I am usually not privy to in my everyday life, I saw the situation with open eyes. This was a test. He wanted me to prove my mettle. It was necessary that I show him I was a survivor, worthy to work in his office. Grabbing two of the office landline phones, I nimbly detached the handsets from the base units and, connecting them with a shared phone wire, constructed a set of makeshift nunchucks (or as the Japanese say, nunchaku). He was obviously dazzled by my prowess with the weapon, as his eyes glazed over with fear and regret as I approached him. The whirling phone-nunchuck was only a ruse though. With a flick, I tossed the item away mid-whip. He watched it soar gracefully through the air, carving a path like a sparrow in the nighttime sky. Seeing him distracted, I began a slow trot towards him that evolved into a rush, and then, a savage charge. Flinging myself parallel to the ground, I drop kicked him in the chest and heard a crack as I shattered his sternum and ribcage. The kick sent Scott Rudin, one of the most powerful producers in our nation, out into the open air 10 stories above the ground enveloped in a shower of glass. He didn't scream once. "Scotttttttttt!!!" I yelled, reaching for his hand. As he descended from the arc of his trajectory out of his office window, I saw a look of newfound respect in his eyes. He held eye contact with me for the entire beautiful moment before he disappeared below the horizon of the window ledge. Gasping for breath, and with the adrenaline still making my blood play a pumping, drumming beat in my ears, I slowly looked around the office with tears in my eyes. The silence felt like an eternity. My shaking hands made me feel cheap, easily broken. I was positive I was not the warrior he wanted. Then, one of the assistants stood up. He began to slowly clap as a smile crept across his face. This clap turned into a dozen more, and a dozen more after that as other workers stood to offer a thunderous tidal wave of applause. Utterly spent, I collapsed and was nursed to sleep by the hottest employee at the company. I slept fitfully for 3 days. On the fourth day, I awoke with a start, and went to the office. Scott Rudin, apparently, was totally fine. Don't ask me how. He smiled at me like nothing happened. After that first day, things were pretty much uneventful around the office.


I have yet to receive an angry email from my advisor regarding my paper. I hope that means i learned alot this year.

Monday, December 12, 2005

Top 20 Top 20 Lists List

I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say that 2005 is no more so that I may post my Top 20 Albums of 2005 LIST!!

This list is only the opinion of me, Sime, and does not reflect the opinion and tastes of Hammerkatz NYU.

20. Awesomer - Blood on the Wall
19. Gimme Fiction - Spoon
18. Veneer - Jose Gonzalez
17. Runner's Four - Deerhoof
16. Picaresque - Decemberists
15. S/T - LCD SOundsystem
14. God's Money - Gang Gang Dance
13. Bloc Party - Silent Alarm
12. I Am a Bird Now- Antony & the Johnsons
11. Wind in the Wires - Patrick Wolf
10. Andrew Bird & the Mysterious Production of Eggs - Andrew Bird
9. Apologies to the Queen Mary - Wolf Parade
8. S/T - Broken Social Scene
6. I'm Wide Awake it's Morning/Digital Ash in a Digital Urn - Bright Eyes
5. S/T - Clap Your Hands Say Yeah!
4. La Foret - Xiu Xiu
3. Come on Feel the Illinoise! - SUfjan Stevens
2. Feels - Animal Collective

1. Takk... - Sigur Ros
To go along with the top choice is a breath-taking video for Glosoli. You should check it out. It is utterly beautiful. So is the song, of course.

Yep. That's it!
If you don't agree...I don't really care. Again, it's just my opinion. I have all those albums and don't talk shit unless you've listened to them.

As the Romans say "Yo, Saturnalia" and see you in 2006!

Sunday, December 11, 2005

thanks kids

Massive gratitude to everybody who came out to the HKATZNYU Christmas special last night, especially the rowdy 11 o'clock crowd. You complete us.

For a delicious array of pictures of this show in rehearsal, performance, and post-show beer drinking, please hit up Matt's album on The Facebook.

We'll be back in February with an all-new free show for your asses. Keep checking the blog for mp3s, videos, and general awesomeness.

Monday, December 05, 2005