Monday, October 31, 2005

The Spirit of Halloween

{Matt buys one hot dog at Gray's Papaya. He pays with a one dollar bill, and receives a nickel for change. As he exits, a homeless man sitting outside the doorway poses to him a question}

Homeless Man: Excuse me, brother, do you have any money you could spare tonight? Anything at all would help.

{Matt looks down at the nickel in his hand, and summarily decides to give it to the homeless man. Matt places said nickel into the palm of the man's outstretched hand, then turns away.}

WHAP. {sound said nickel makes against leather as it hits matt square in the back}

Homeless Man: Are you kidding me??? What the fuck am i going to do with a nickel??? Why don't you give me some actual money so that i can get some food or get out of the cold?

Matt: The change adds up!! That's the point of panhandling! AND IT'S NOT EVEN COLD, IT'S FUCKING SIXTY DEGREES!

{End of conversation as matt storms into the subway, his faith in the goodness of humanity shattered once more}

Happy Halloween!!!

1 comment:

donald said...

That's fucking hilarious! Jaded New York bums.